Why do people cheat? Well its usually for a few reasons. Mostly its because they are not happy in their relationship (more on this later). Other times is because they can, they don’t care or have no respect for the person the are with. It could be for revenge or they fall in love with someone else. But now, in the information age, people cheat  because its never been easier to meet people.

With the availability of chat  applications like Windows Live Messenger/MSN, Yahoo, Google Chat and chat rooms or  on Internet Web sites like dating sites, Twitter and Facebook, the temptation to meet new people online increases. According to research, online relationships provide individuals with an outlet to tell secrets and express themselves to a stranger anonymously, while allowing for the creation of another persona, or to flirt and get to know someone before they meet.

Men often create a well-groomed, professional, athletic persona, while women create a thin, beautiful and adventurous alter ego. When online, people create fictitious, seemingly perfect personalities that are desirable to others to fill social and psychological needs.Though, most come clean after a short period when it becomes time to meet the other person. In 40% of the cases, online cheating is with someone the person already knows.

Divorce and Relationship Breakdown

A recent survey found that Facebook and Twitter are now fuelling Divorce and the breakdown of relationships. The UK Newspaper ‘The Telegraph’ published this story about the divorce factor. However, this is not something new. Relationships have always been subject to online misuse. These Social Networking sites just make it easier for people to have infidelity whilst in a relationship.

Why it happens

Once the honeymoon phase of marriage or a courtship is over, couples sometimes get bored, begin to take each other for granted and stop doing the nice things they did for one another before getting married or involved. When that happens, (spouses or partners) are vulnerable and may seek affection and attention from someone else. Men are goal oriented. They can’t read (women’s) minds. Women should tell their husbands what they need. Most of the time, men just want to do what their wives need them to do. If a woman needs attention, she should tell her husband exactly what she wants.

Warning signs, consequences and recovery

There are warning signs that an individual might be having an online relationship such as an increase in time spent privately on the Internet, reluctance to let others access the computer, frequently erasing Internet histories and constantly deleting e-mails.

In addition to providing warning signs,there are tips to stop having an online affair:

• Admit Internet use is causing problems in the relationship
• Only use the computer for specific reasons — do not “surf” the Internet
• Move the computer to an open area
• Remove online messaging programs and change e-mail addresses
• Install computer monitoring software
• Spend more time with your loved one, family and friends
• Communicate more with your loved one. Don’t keep secrets

Sometimes people become addicted to the Internet. If an individual is addicted, then more intensive counselling to battle the addiction may be necessary.

The Signs of a Cyber Affair

I’m sure all of us who have been in relationships wonder what our significant other is doing when they are on-line. There is a distinct difference between that random thought that may enter your jealous mind, and a real reason to be thinking about what your loved one is doing or who they are chatting with on-line. If you ever have wanted to know if your loved one was guilty of infidelity, but don’t know how to go about finding out without asking them, then these few tips may help you out.

Lying is always an indicator of something gone wrong in a relationship and is often a sign of infidelity. If your loved one begins to tell you they are “just surfing the Internet,” and they do it in privacy, you may have something to worry about. You must ask yourself how many times this has been happening, There is a fine line before having friends of the opposite sex on the Internet and constantly being with them on-line. If he/she has nothing to hide, then he/she shouldn’t be lying to you in the first place, and you shouldn’t turn into the questioning and jealous loved one until the excuses begin occurring much more frequently.

You should also look for signs (listed below) to see if your loved one seems to be drifting away from you as well. Try to pay more attention to the inner workings of your relationship. See if husband/wife/partner still spends quality time with you willingly, or if he/she avoids speaking with you about anything besides superficial topics. If they are not paying as much attention to you, and you know they do not have a significant reason to want to be alone or more aloof, then this may also be a sign of infidelity. Are they simply avoiding you, or avoiding their friends as well? Usually if a person is cheating on their loved one, they continue to keep contact with their friends much more than the loved one. Sometimes, the best way to tell if they are cheating on you is through the little things.

No matter what happens, always make sure to talk to your loved one before making any rash decisions. Sometimes you may think you have the best clues and you could be completely wrong, so confront them and ask them what’s going on and why you are worried without accusing them. You still want to give them a chance to defend themselves so you can then decide if they are telling the truth, lying once again or if they come clean with the cyber affair. So whatever you decide, discuss your thoughts and feelings with your significant other before breaking off that relationship because of the cyber affair.

Experts say that a gut instinct is one of the most powerful signs of infidelity. Statistics say that 85% of women who feel their lover is cheating are correct. 50% of men who feel their lover is cheating are right. The first clue is seldom obvious. Typically, it’s a “feeling” that something is different. You notice minor changes in your lover’s behaviour. Even the most skilled cheater can’t hide these clues and only a lover in total denial can miss them. The first sign of infidelity can be a comment or incident that seems harmless but remains in your mind. The following is a short list of infidelity signs:

• Your spouse spends an excessive amount of time in the on-line chat rooms
• Long chats to the opposite sex on an Instant Messenger
• Minimizes/Closes or Hides Windows when you walk into the room
• Your spouse pays less attention to you
• Your spouse is preoccupied with on-line chatting, more distant emotionally
• Your spouse is insisting on chatting alone
• Your spouse has unaccounted time away from home
• Your spouse has a decreased interest in sex
• Your spouse becomes defensive during normal conversations
• Discovery of a post office box
• The toilet bowl seat is up, (men) and when you left home it was down
• The passenger seat in the car has been moved and is not in the usual position
• An unusual number of hang ups or wrong number calls
• Fragrances of colognes and/or perfumes are noticed on clothing of a cheating spouse
• Car mileage is unusual for claims made by cheating spouse
• Your spouse explains a late return home as a result of having to drive
  out of town on business, but yet the mileage on the car indicates less than ten mile driven
• Discover the recent opening of another checking account
• Unaccounted for hairs of a different colour on clothing
• Cigarette smoke on clothing that can not be explained
• Credit card transactions for unknown or unusual types of purchases
• Cosmetic, perfume or lipstick purchases listed but not received
• An increase in toll and/or long distance calls
• Increase in ATM withdrawals. Check the transaction record to ID the withdrawal
• Income tax returns revealing unexplained travel and business expense deductions
• Florist or jewellery bills
• Credit card gas purchases that are inconsistent for the amount of miles driven on the car
• Joins a health gym or weight reducing clinic
• Visits made to the tanning salon
• New hair style
• Wearing hair spray, colognes & perfumes more often
• Needs a pager, mobile phone, Protective of said devices
• Excessive buying of new and different clothes
• Sudden and unexplained change in clothing style
• The buying of sexy underwear or lingerie
• There is an unexplained aloofness or indifference in the relationship

Conclusion

Is cheating wrong? Well, yes if you are deceiving a partner or are being deceived. In a relationship, you must trust your partner or spouse, if you have any room for doubt, talk to each other. Try to sort things out before they escalate and get worse. If he or she is cheating, then either sort it out and learn to trust again, or end it. You will only be causing yourself much more pain in the long run.

Personal Service

If your still in doubt, contact me to find out how you or I can investigate your situation and find proof that your partner is or isn’t cheating.

We all know how fun Twitter can be. Many people have fallen in love with this micro blogging site, and don’t really see anything that could go wrong. After all, who needs Twitter safety tips against a cute, bird logo?

Well, don’t be too caught up in your Twitter postings that you forget your safety. Remember that the Internet is still a prime target market for sexual predators, stalkers, fraudsters, scammers, hackers and people who want to do others harm. You might need these Twitter safety tips more than you realise, especially if you have just started to use twitter.

Just the other day, I chanced upon this TV interview of a young, popular actress who pointed out that someone has set up an account on Twitter, pretending to be her which leads me to…

Twitter Safety Tip # 1:  Don’t believe everything you read

Have we not learned from the past? The Internet, while not harmful by itself, is still a haven for individuals and groups that are up to no good.

After all, who can say that a 50-year-old pervert isn’t a cute, 15-year-old student from London when he sounds just like a 15-year old student from London? And that picture of him in that blue shirt just backs it up, right?

If you are inclined to believe this, then you need this Twitter safety tip more than anyone else. People who want to befriend you can easily make up lies on Twitter. Don’t think for a second that they wouldn’t take the time and effort to prattle away about their non-existent boring Algebra classes and upcoming winter dance if it meant making themselves more convincing.

Be aware that there are many fake profiles on twitter. Learn how to spot them. Firstly, you’ll notice that they have not posted much, and with links being shortened, its hard to see if your being sent to a real site or a dodgy site where you will be prone to a clickjacking attack/scam. Other things too look out for are the following and followers. Usually you can tell by looking if this is a real person or a fake. Also keep away from people sending tweets from API. Scammers/Spammers also follow each other, and may converse between themselves to make it look like they have actual friends. Be wary. A quick example of clickjacking. Click this link (its safe), but its shows you how an easy link can be spoofed.

The most common looking fake profile with low followers

Automated tweets from the Twitter API - Block these people

If you want to follow a celebrity, I suggest you look for the new Twitter Verified Account tag that’s added at the top right of a profile, and check out Valebrity for a huge list of validated celebs.

An official Verified Account

Last bits on this subject, there are lots of automated scripts out there that create fake profiles, bots that create fake posts and user accounts. So if you are unsure that this is a real person, do some investigating and look at their followers and see if any of them has ever had a proper conversation with this possible ‘fake’. If in doubt, don’t follow them back and block them.

A typical fake Profile. Notice there's no conversation, and low followers

Also beware of tweets and websites that claim Get 160,000 followers in a month, or words like that. Firstly, they don’t work, and secondly they are probably a scam.

Why? Well, once you click a link, you are directed to a website where you enter your Twitter login details. Now the scammers/spamers can send tweets from your account. Also, they may flood Twitter with thousands of messages. Twitter hates this and it will get your account locked and possibly deleted. If this happens and you still have access to your account, change your password immediately.

When visiting any website that is not directly affiliated or endorsed by twitter, be very careful when submitting your account details. You never know who owns the website or what they are using it for, so do some research first. Check the whois information for the site (this can also be faked), search twitter to see if other people are using the site (or even an app) and see if they seem to be sending spam tweets. If all is clear, then they are probably OK.

Never pay for a service that links to Twitter.

Twitter Safety Tip # 2: Don’t give out your location

I know that micro blogging is fun. There’s just something addicting about being able to post what you’re doing or what you’re feeling at this exact moment… and having hundreds, possibly thousands of followers seeing it.

If you have added people in Twitter who are not really your friends, then all the more reason to be careful. If you, for example, tweets that you’re stuck in the Starbucks near your home late at night, anyone could just take advantage of that information. Its only a matter of time until you turn on the TV and hear that someone is being stalked or has been attacked or murdered because they twitted their exact location, so be warned.

Lastly on this location tip. Be careful if you are using an iPhone and turn on the Location Option. It looks like this in a persons profile: 37.739705,-122.430799 and gives you the longitude and latitude of a persons iPhone. This can be used to track you. So turn this feature off.  In a test, I activated this feature on an iPhone with Twitterrific. With a laptop and mobile phone enabled with GPS Software I travelled miles away from home, where I left the iPhone switched on. I activated the Laptop and GPS, loaded my Twitter page and got the coordinates. I entered them into the GPS system and navigated the route to 20 meters from my doorstep. Anyone could do this with just a laptop and GPS Enabled phone. You can also go to Google Maps and copy and paste the longitude and latitude, this will also give the location. And with Street View, you can probably see where that person lives.

Twitter Safety Tip # 3: Don’t attract too much attention to yourself

Twittering that you have just received a gold bracelet from your boyfriend can also attract the wrong sort of followers to your account. Trust should not be so freely given on the Internet.

You might want to show it off on Twitter via TwitPic or some other image provider or host, but think about the possible risks. It might tempt others into doing something both you, and they, will regret.

As much fun as Twitter is, set a limit on how much private information you’re really broadcasting to the world. Many of you may be thinking, ‘yeah, whateverrrr’, or ‘yeah OK, this will never happen to me’. But never forego you’re safety,  and never let your guard down on the Internet. If you do, you’re a fool!

More protection…

When using twitter, I’d suggest using a 3rd party application like TweetDeck (which is my favorite twitter app) or CoTweet (which is my second fave). The reason for using a 3rd party application is that it uses Twitters API (Application programming interface) and you are less likely to get a trojan or virus from clicking on a users infected profile. Yes! You can also get a Trojan or Virus from using Twitter. A while back, Twitter was plagued by the ‘Mikeyy Worm‘ that infected you if you clicked on a profile that had been compromised by the Mikeyy worm. Incidentaly, the Mikeyy worm was actually written by Michael Mooney, a 17 year old kid and it crippled millions of Twitter accounts.

You can keep track of attacks on twitter here. And if you would like to report suspicious activity, a spammer or something that doesn’t look right, follow twitters Spam Team and then send them a tweet with your problem: http://twitter.com/spam and they should help. Also, if you have any real issues and you need support from Twitter, visit their ticketing system.

Twitter is not perfect and is riddled with security holes, and more are being discovered or exploited daily. For a platform that’s almost over 3 years old, the boffins at Twitter really should plug these holes, tighten up security and keep people safer. Don’t let this spoil your twitting experience though. As long as you keep safe whilst on twitter, and learn how to spot the fake profiles, you’ll have a great time.

If you have any Twitter tips you would like to share with us, please comment below and at some point I will include these in a list, and credit you.

Lastly, check out Sharon Hays’ Blog for tons of Twitter information. She’s a pure Twitter professional, lovely person and her blog will help you get used to Twitter if you are new. Also, checkout Twitter 101 for some excellent information.

Recent Twitter Bots/Scammers

I will update this section of this post as new scams, bots and strategies change, so keep popping back for updats…

You will notice that they are now having conversations. But with other bots and they use rubbish English like ‘Howz U doin‘,  ‘I did dat last wk‘ and so on. If you click on the people they are following, you will notice the same bad grammar and spellings. Some of these new spammers are also now mimicking or pretending to be up and coming actors/actresses and celebs.

3rd Party Application Spam

I’ve noticed that spammers are now creating profiles and posting tweets via TweetDeck and CoTweet as well as TwitterFeed. Again, there is no real conversation and the posts are riddled with useless links and random tweets. You may also notice that the spammers and bots are now using lists to make them look like normal people. Be wary.

New fake profile using TweetDeck and using Lists

True Twit

This is not a danger, but I wanted to update you with this cool utility. If you are plagued by Twitter spam (or Twam) and you have had enough, you can try True Twit. True Twit has been around a while now and what it does is to verify anyone following you. So, if for example, I follow you, I’m sent a DM to click a link to verify that I am in fact a cool human being and wants to follow you because I think your cool. I don’t have to enter any of my Twitter details either.

True Twit - Helping stop Twitter Spam

True Twit also has a few neat options behind the scenes, where you can send a verification note to anyone on your list to whom you think may is a spammer or may have a fake profile, they are then sent a DM to verify themselves. The message that is sent is customisable, or you can use the default message. You can also unfollow people too. Signup today and help stop the spam.

http://www.truetwit.com.

Stay tuned for more info…